Tears of the Forgotten: India’s Elderly at Life’s Crossroads
Lakshmi Munjal (L), Indu Vij (M), and Suman Chandana (R) (Images Bhawna Malik)
As families scatter and loneliness grows, Arya Mahila Ashram offers shelter — but raises deeper questions about the country’s duty to its ageing parents.
By Bhawna Malik
NEW DELHI, June 12, 2025 –“Buzurgo ki aankhon mein paani na dena, jinhone pyaar se tumko paala hai (Do not bring tears to the eyes of your elders who have raised you with love),” sings Lakshmi Munjal at Arya Mahila Ashram, a women-only old age home for those aged sixty and above.
Munjal is not a resident herself but has come to visit her friend, Suman Chandana, who has been living here for the past five years.
The steady rise in India’s elderly population is exposing the cracks in the country’s social fabric, with increasing instances of loneliness, depression, and psychosomatic illnesses among senior citizens. As joint families fragment and professional mobility scatters younger generations across cities and countries, the question remains: Are old age homes the only solution, or is there a need for a broader social movement to rekindle a sense of moral responsibility among the youth?
At Arya Mahila Ashram, life follows a disciplined routine. The day begins at 6 AM with a hawan (fire ritual), followed by a discourse explaining Vedic mantras by an Acharya. Regular medical check-ups and physiotherapy sessions are arranged by the management. School and college students, NGOs, activists, and members of the broader community frequently contribute by organizing workshops and interactive sessions for the residents.
Despite the activities, a longing for family is often palpable. Indu Vij, an 82-year-old retired principal of Bapu Adarsh Vidyalaya, has lived in the Ashram for two decades after her husband’s death. She sold her house in New Rajinder Nagar and made a one-time payment of Rs 20,000 to secure her stay at the Ashram. Although she has a daughter, she chose not to live with her.
“My daughter lives with her in-laws. How could I have stayed with her?” says Vij. Once a strict principal, she now struggles to recall her own phone number.
“I was scared to live alone. My daughter and grandchildren visit, but not very often. My friends and cousins are all old too, many have already passed away,” she says, leaning on her stick. When asked, she admits, “If given a choice, I would have preferred staying at home.”
According to the 2011 Census, India had 104 million people aged sixty and above. That number surged to 156.7 million by 2024, accounting for nearly 11% of the total population. Interestingly, elderly women outnumber men.
While increased life expectancy reflects better healthcare, it also brings challenges.
The breakdown of joint family structures and the demands of professional life leave many elderly isolated, vulnerable to not only emotional neglect but also physical threats, such as robbery or even murder at the hands of house helps.
Though the government has introduced various schemes and policies for senior citizens, many elderly people find themselves living either in government or private old age homes. Those without financial security often suffer in silence.
India’s rapidly aging population urgently requires integrated healthcare, robust social security, and comprehensive support systems. The rising incidence of dementia, Alzheimer’s, depression, and the acute shortage of trained caregivers remain serious concerns.
Andrea Wojnar, Representative of UNFPA India and Country Director for Bhutan, highlighted these challenges in her article ‘India’s Ageing Population: Why it Matters More Than Ever’.
“Ageing is a complex and intricate issue. In India, loss of financial security is deeply felt, with 40% of the elderly in the poorest wealth quintile and one-fifth having no income at all. The United Nations (2021-2030) recognizes the far-reaching impact of ageing, encompassing not just health systems but also labour, financial markets, social protection, and education,” she wrote.
For some, old age homes offer a kind of sanctuary. “For me, this Ashram is heaven,” says Suman Chandana, who chose Arya Mahila Ashram because of her familiarity with Arya Samaj principles.
“This Ashram follows the Vaanprasth tradition—after fulfilling your worldly responsibilities, you detach from family ties. Happiness is a mental state, a choice. Instead of trying to change your children, it’s better to start a new life and aim for a higher self,” she said.
Deeply bonded with her fellow residents, Chandana adds: “At least we have shoulders to lean on and someone to talk to. People talk of adopting dogs and pets, but what about the elderly? Why does no one talk about taking care of elders?”
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