‘Jamai Shoshti’ Platter Resembling Eden Gardens Floors ‘Probashi’ Bengali

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By Rajiv Banerjee

Once I received a WhatsApp photograph of a Bengali jamai (son-in-law) posing with a plate full of food and an impressive number of bowls overflowing with even more food. The plate and the bowls, neatly arranged in a circle, resembled Eden Gardens (the famous cricket stadium in Kolkata) with a capacity crowd.

This picture was doing the rounds during Jamai Shoshti, a day dedicated to sons-in-law, marked by a grand feast for the jamai. A full course meal is an understatement as one starts losing count of the number of dishes that emerge, thick and fast, from the kitchen.

Looking at the spread, one would assume that the jamai would have fasted in preparation for the feast. That is not the case. Jamai Shoshti or not, jamais are usually treated like gods by their in-laws and fed sumptuous food every time they visit.

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Indeed, a jamai in a Bengali household is the cynosure of all eyes during Jamai Shoshti. Apart from the occasion being a veritable gastronomical journey, I have noticed all pairs of eyes following every move the jamai makes at the table. It is usually the womenfolk of the house, who surround the jamai.

Men of the house simply disappear. It is the sashuri (mother-in-law), mashi-sashuri (aunt-inlaw) and countless other womenfolk who ensure no one comes between them and the jamai. Matriarchy simply rules here.

The close-body protection skills of the womenfolk near their jamai will put even the highly trained Special Protection Group (SPG) guarding the honourable prime minister to shame. One hopes that the wife is around to intervene if the need arises, but alas, she too has abandoned you, leaving you at the mercy of the womenfolk-in-law!

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The first sight of the spread looks inviting, but aasho baba, bosho (come, dear, please sit) is the start of a marathon. There is a beatific smile on everyone’s face, which makes you nervous, causing you to sweat.

Baba, gorom lagche? (Son, are you feeling hot?). Of course, with all the radar-like eyes locked on you, you are bound to feel the heat. But you give a faint smile, mumble something incomprehensible and go back to eating. There is pin drop silence as everyone watches the jamai eat.

It is like match-point silence, as the audience watches the action with bated breath. Suddenly, the reverie is broken by a shriek from the audience around you. ‘O Ma! Eie ki? Sob bhaat dal diye shesh korcho je. Aaro khabar aache toh’ (What’s this? You are polishing off the rice with just the lentils! There is more to come). Muri ghonto ta kemon hoyeche? (How is the dish made with fish head?) Chingri maach aar ektu debo? (Care for more prawn?) Aarey mangsho khabe toh (There’s a mutton dish next).

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Questions are for effect—merely rhetorical. There cannot be no for an answer. You can make feeble protests, but these are brushed away as another large tablespoon of food lands on your plate.

A jamai passes with flying colours when not even a single morsel remains on his plate and the plate is spotless. The eyes around you will indicate if you have passed or flunked the food test.

Beaming eyes mean jamai bhalo khae (son-in-law ate well); droopy downcast eyes mean jamai ekdom khete pare na (sonin-law cannot eat). And if the jamai, after the feast, can polish off a few rosogollas (a Bengali sweet) and wash it down with mishti doi (sweetened yogurt), he becomes the apple of everyone’s eye.

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For sons-in-law who like a good meal, the in-laws always compliment that he eats well. For me, it has usually been ‘he cannot eat’. The reason being I do not eat fish, and over the years, my consumption of non-vegetarian food, like chicken and mutton, has reduced considerably. Ditto for sweets.

Jamai Shoshti largely is about feeding the jamai with the choicest non-vegetarian fare; with me, it is usually a tame affair. Disappointment looms large on the faces as I dig into lentils and vegetables on my plate with gusto. So, all the jamais who, like me, fall in the ekdom khete pare na (poor eater) category, please raise their hands!

(Excerpted with permission from Bangaliyana: Doodles, Cartoons and Musings from a Probashi Bengali. The book had been published by BluOne Ink)

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